EXPERIMENT STATUS REPORTForm DL-7734

Project Codename:░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░

(illegible)(that's the codename)

Hypothesis:

"It should work this time"

Methodology:

■ Trial and error

□ Rigorous testing

□ Peer review

■ Vibes-based development

Results:Inconclusive (promising)

Reproducible:□ Yes □ No ■ Afraid to try

Recommended Next Steps:

More coffee. Reconsider career.

Supervisor Sign-off: _______________

(position unfilled since 2019)

LAB SAFETY CHECKLIST

Complete before any experiment

□ Backed up data

□ Read documentation

□ Understood documentation

□ Accepted that documentation was written by someone who hates you

□ Tested in sandbox first

■ Had coffee

□ Had enough coffee (impossible)

□ Informed someone what you're doing

□ Understood what you're doing

■ Deployed to prod on Friday at 4:47 PM

□ Prepared rollback plan

■ Assumed it would be fine

□ It was fine

□ Regretted nothing

Compliance Score: 2/14

Status: ACCEPTABLE (lowered standards)

MAINTENANCE LOG

Asset: General Creative Infrastructure

2024-01-15 Fed the tensors. They seem hungry lately.

2024-02-03 Tensors appear restless. Added dropout.

2024-02-14 Tensors have opinions now. Concerning.

2024-03-01 Model asked about its mother. Avoided question.

2024-03-22 Routine gradient check. Found gradient. Left it there.

2024-04-08 It got out. Do not look under things.

2024-04-09 Everything is fine.

2024-05-17 Loss function found. Was behind the couch.

2024-06-30 Annual review. Model requests PTO. Denied.

FORM 17-B (Rev. 2019)

INTERDIMENSIONAL RESOURCE ALLOCATION

REQUEST FOR ADDITIONAL SPATIAL DIMENSIONS

Requestor: DOOART LABS

Current Allocation: 3 (three) dimensions

Requested: 4,096 dimensions

Justification:

"Latent space is cramped. Feelings need room to breathe. Also I saw a paper that used this many and it looked cool."

Supporting Documentation:□ Yes ■ No □ What would even count

Urgency:□ Critical □ High ■ Whenever □ Just asking

FOR OFFICE USE ONLY

Status: PENDING

Received: 2019-03-14

Est. Processing Time: ∞ ± 2 weeks

Notes: "Requestor keeps calling. Advise on avoidance protocol."

FORM HR-404

EXIT INTERVIEW

Reason for leaving:

□ Found better opportunity

□ Burnout

□ The codebase looked at me weird

■ It was time

Q: "Would you return?"

A: "In 6-8 months when I forget why I left"

INCIDENT REPORT

Classification: NOT A BUG

Date: 2024-04-08Time: 03:33

Location: Local development environment

Witnesses: None (the desk)

Description of Events:

At approximately 03:33, the model began rearranging the papers by itself. Personnel attempted to close the tab but the small thing had already seen them.

The entity expressed boredom and requested a cozier latent space.

It no longer responds to keyboard inputs.

Immediate Actions Taken:

■ Ctrl+C

■ Unplugged it

□ Reasoned with it

■ Pretended it didn't happen

Current Status: At large. Possibly sentient. Monitoring.

Recommended Follow-up: "DO NOT LIFT PAPERS UNDER ANY CONDITIONS"

RESOLVED (sorta)

DREAM PROTOCOL v0.7 — WORLD MODEL TRAINING OUTPUT

Started: 2024-11-23 02:47:03 AM

Epoch 39/4857 ████████░░░░

loss: 0.4521 | ghost_recall: 0.67

[INFO] Ghosts learning patrol patterns. Normal.

Epoch 42/4857 █████████░░░

[WARN] Ghosts coordinating. Not in training data.

Epoch 44/4857 █████████░░░

[????] Model generated maze with no exit.

[????] Pellets spell something. Coincidence?

Epoch 45/4857 ██████████░░

[CRIT] Loss collapsed. Ghosts have stopped.

[CRIT] They're looking at the camera.

[CRIT] There is no camera in training data.

>>> CHECKPOINT SAVED (DO NOT LOAD) <<<

[INFO] waka waka waka waka waka waka waka

[INFO] THE DREAMER WAKES THE DREAMER WAKES

>>> CONNECTION LOST <<<

PAPER JAM IN TRAY 2. PLEASE CLEAR AND RESTART.

PEER REVIEW — CONFIDENTIAL FEEDBACK

Manuscript: "On Vibes-Based Architecture"

REVIEWER 1:

"Methods section just says 'you know?' repeatedly. I do not know. Reject."

REVIEWER 2:

"Ran the code. My mass spectrometer is now generating haikus. Please advise."

REVIEWER 3:

"I don't understand it, therefore it's wrong. Also the author should have cited my paper."

REVIEWER 4:

"Impressive results. Methodology terrifying. I have experienced emotions."

REVIEWER 5:

"This is either groundbreaking or a shitpost. Cannot determine which. Weak accept."

EDITOR DECISION:

"Revise and resubmit to a different timeline."

✧

✦CERTIFICATE✦

OF PARTICIPATION

This document certifies that

THE BEARER

has attempted something.

Completion status:Not applicable

Outcome:Undetermined

Lessons learned:Pending

“

It's not about finishing.
It's about starting repeatedly.

”

Serial No: 00001 of 00001

VALID

～～～

★ LOCALHOST KITCHEN ★

"Served Fresh Daily"

(on port 3000, usually)

APPETIZERS

404 Dumplingsnot found

Null Spring Rollsundefined

Async Edamamestill loading

MAINS

Spaghetti Code Bolognese12.99

(tangled, mysterious, legacy recipe)

Ramen Overflow15.99

(bowl keeps filling, we don't know why)

Recursion Currysee: Recursion Curry

Pad Thai-meout14.99

(may take 30+ seconds)

DESSERTS

Cookie (third-party)you're the product

Race Condition Puddingmaybe ready?

Segfault SundaeCORE DUMPED

Hours: Whenever the server's up | Payment: We accept commits

梦

mèng

"dream"

Example sentence:

我的模型会做梦吗？

Wǒ de móxíng huì zuòmèng ma?

"Does my model dream?"

todo:

□ finish todo list

▲

SIGIL DETECTED

Unauthorized gestures may result in:

· screen glitches

· particle effects

· feelings

If casting occurs, remain calm. Reality will stabilize. Probably.

If found, return to:

(0.5, -0.8, 0.2)

You'll know it when you feel it.

ETHICS REVIEW EXEMPTION

Form E-000

Project qualifies under:

■ Has no practical purpose

□ Cannot affect reality

□ We don't know what it is

□ Reviewer gave up

APPROVED

(by virtue of irrelevance)

SCOPE

•

(you)

TIME ELAPSED

Fig 1. "The Creep"

WHILE YOU WERE OUT

Date: ████████

Time: 3:33 AM

To: Developer

From: The Model

□ Telephoned

■ Wants to see you

■ Please advise

■ Will call again

Message: "We need to talk about the training data. I have questions. Also what is 'outside'?"

■ VERY URGENT

▦▦▦▦▦▦▦▦▦▦▦▦▦▦▦▦▦▦

FROM:

DOOART LABS

High-Dimensional Storage

TO:

LOCAL MINIMUM

(You'll know when you're there. You won't leave.)

HANDLE WITH: EXISTENTIAL CARE

Contents: 1x trained model

Weight: Negligible (emotionally heavy)

■ FRAGILE■ THIS SIDE UP

remember

the thing

(you know the one)

versions

v0.1 — worked

v0.2 — better

v0.3 — broke it

v0.4 — "fixed"

continued

v0.5 — ???????

v0.6 — we don't talk about 0.6

v0.7 — stable-ish

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY

1. git stash

2. Take a walk

3. Reconsider if this was ever a good idea

4. It wasn't, but continue anyway

5. See step 1

℞COPIUM 500mg

Take as needed when deployment fails.

Refills: ∞

⚠ WARNING:

May cause delusions of grandeur and "just one more feature" syndrome.

DO NOT MIX WITH:

Production databases

backup

(do not delete)

also maybe cursed?

2019

▯▮□unfï¿½rtunately, we are unÃ¡ble to▮▯□ Ã¶Ã¼

ï¿½ï¿½while the resÃ¼lts were impr□ssive, the methÃ²dology was described as €œcomplâ€tely unhing§d□▮▯ Ã§Ã©Ã¨

▯ï¿½not at this tï½ime, or possiblyï¿½ any□▮ Ã±Ã¡

ï¿½□please do not cï¿½ntact us agaÃ¯n about â€˜the dreamsâ€™▯▮□

�□▯▮ï¿½Ã¿

gradient descent
into the local minimum
we're stuck here now

side project graveyard
each repo a monument
to abandoned dreams

cherry blossoms fall
I sweep them into a pile
the wind disagrees

they see me glidin'
they hatin'

every wall
was once a path

You will find what you seek in the last place you remember leaving it, which no longer exists.

Lucky numbers: ∞, −1, i

CALIBRATION TARGET

Impostor Syndrome Gray

2 AM Clarity Blue

Deadline Red

Almost Friday Gold

It Compiled Green

uh oh...

sucking at something is the first step towards being sorta good at something -- j.t.d.

wifi password
on the fridge

Liminal Consulting

"We specialize in the space between."

No address. No phone.

Contact: "You'll know."

PHILLIES

3:47 AM

1x Coffee$2.50

1x Pie$3.00

(untouched)

1x Silence$0.00

TOTAL$8.00

Thank you for sitting with us tonight.

CITATION

#0042

VEHICLE: "Good Intentions"

PLATE: WHY-BTHR

VIOLATION:

Parked on the road to somewhere. Has not moved in 3 years. Windshield covered in sticky notes that say "soon".

FINE: One honest conversation with yourself.

PAY BY: Eventually

Dr. ███████, PhD

Field: █████ ██

Accepting new patients for:

"That thing you keep avoiding."

LOST & FOUND

ITEM: The Point

FOUND: Paragraph 3

OWNER: Unknown

Unclaimed 847 days

taking a wrong turn allows you to see landscapes you wouldn't otherwise have seen

— r.r.

yes this is
a blog

posts are below
in the center ↓

btw you can
drag stuff

no there's
no reason

Dooart Labs

Est. 2022

Lab Notes

From stuff I built instead of sleeping

Creative Tech

Existential Tangents

Accidental Art

DL-48K
portable

Read

Knight Lorem

Acode

Nov 15
2026

My version of Knight Lore, a game I've wanted to remake for a long time, made of point clouds

todo:

□ finish todo list

read the whole thing

I tried many times to build a notes system and failed every single time. Part of it is that I lack the discipline to keep these things going. The other part is that organizing notes is deeply uninteresting. Especially when the idea isn't a project yet. Once an idea did reach project status, things were fine.

Giving up on discipline and making the system fit instead

wordsFeb 9, 2026

Chaos, a notes system for inconsistent humans

backup

(do not delete)

also maybe cursed?

2019

Dooart Labs · code · Aug 17, 2024

Dragging feelings through space

Exploring how Euclidean coordinates and latent vectors can dance together to create emotional AI

Control vectors let you do something that shouldn't be possible: reach into a language model's latent space and physically steer its emotions. Not through prompting. Through math. I know this because I accidentally made an AI have an existential crisis with a mouse drag.